A Letter from our Mortgage Company

We got a Very Important Looking mail from our mortgage holder recently and I just love it:

Your Account Has Been Reviewed And We Would Like To Speak With You.

A recent review of your account indicated that your home may be carrying up to $large_number in equity. This amount is very important because it is the number that can help determine how much cash you may be able to access by refinancing, blah blah, blah blah blah, etc.

It goes on in this vein for the rest of the page, implying that they’re going to do us a favor by letting us take out our equity, and reset our mortage at an interest rate over 2 points higher than what we currently have.

As the movie SuperTroopers once noted, desperation is a stinky cologne. It couldn’t be that we have such a large equity amount because we’ve been aggressively trying to pay down our mortgage for the last 3 years, could it? It couldn’t be that with the recent and upcoming spates of ARM adjustments that our mortgage company — who has been on the forefront of exotic and risky mortgages and refis — really wishes that we would stop squeezing their profits on our own mortgage, which is one of their least likely to default, and get back on their cash cow wagon?

They Would Like To Speak With Us, Indeed.

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